Being a new nurse, I depend a lot on more seasoned nurse's opinions and insight & unfortunately I'm kind of starting to feel like I can't always 100% trust what they're telling me, and I hate that.
For instance, this week, I trusted that a much more seasoned nurse than I did something correctly. It was a device that I was not used to at all - we rarely have chest tubes on our floor, and looking back, I guess I should have done more. Really a case of after sight is always clearer I guess, but it still sucks. It went through 3 shifts of different nurse's, so obviously I shouldn't feel terrible about it, but I do. I would assume that I won't get in "trouble", it just sucks.
Situation 2.... my VERY FIRST night all by myself... I had a patient get up all on her own, fall & break her hip. There really aren't words to describe just how awful I felt about this. All that's comforting about this, is that time going on, does make you feel better. And that the scary meeting I had to attend with uppity ups was not that scary - they realize things like this happen... but freaking-a ANOTHER FALL last night! UGH! It's maybe been 3 or 4 months since that last one and it happens AGAIN. Can I tell you how much it sucks royally that my manager sent out an email talking about the fall and mentions that there are inconsistencies in stories.... what? Excuse me? I know exactly what happened, it's exactly what I documented. I have a feeling the stupid roommate of the guy who fell told what he thought happened - so unless the aide completely lied to me about what happened, I have no idea how stories aren't adding up. And did I mention I am really upset with my manager for sending that to the entire unit, thank you SO much for making me sound incompetent. I do plan on telling her that, hopefully it will come out a bit nicer.
Ugh. It's day like these, that I don't want to go back to work, ever.
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